Sunday, September 23, 2012

Time flies when you're having fun, and now I must reflect about it

I officially have a walker now. She started walking a few weeks back and hasn't looked back since. 
It feels like not that long ago I had this little bundle:
And now, all of a sudden I have this for a shadow:
I won't pretend that I'm not enjoying the stage she is at now though. She interacts with me so much now, which can be somewhat difficult while I'm cooking, or cleaning, or using the little Mama's room. Still, we have a lot of fun. She LOVES being outdoors too, which means I now have a legitimate reason for blowing bubbles - hooray! 
I really think I was put here to be a Mum. I love it so much. Every morning when I wake up I feel at peace, and it's such a lovely feeling.

That being said, lately I've been struggling with a bit of an identity crisis of sorts. I feel like I've become a housewife and Mother and that there is little more to me. Not that I have a problem with that personally, but when someone asks me what I do I get that "...oh" response when I tell them. That or "Don't you get bored?!" - um, yeah, I have the time to be bored when? Before Ellie I was the gamer, the geek and the animal carer. "That crazy bunny lady" or "that geeky chick". Now all of a sudden I don't have the time for video games and I'm no longer working, so now I'm just "Rei's wife" and "Ellie's Mama". I feel that I've lost a little of who I was in peoples eyes. Is that what growing is? I'm not sure really. I love being who I am now, but I loved who I was before, and I still feel I am the person I was pre-baby, but maybe that part of me is lying a little dormant for now.

The most amazing thing about motherhood for me is the awesome friends I've made since becoming a Mum. I always heard that people became less social after a baby, and I worried that if that were true then I was pretty much going to be a total recluse afterward, considering how socially inept I was before Ellie. It's actually been the total opposite for me. I joined a mothers group and I have become friends with the most wonderful group of women and their bubs. We're all so diverse, but we just seem to mesh so well together. 

I am very happy with how life has changed for me in the last 14 months in general. Life is very wonderful, and I am very blessed to be where I am.

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